If You're Not the One
by generalquistis
Summary: Rufus ShinRa reflecting on the only love of his earthly life before he dies...


If You're Not the One

By General Quistis

Disclaimer: I don't own FF7…

How this fic started: Dared by my friend Rufus… he asked us to make a nasty song fic out of Daniel Bedingfield's song and he'll reward the first one to finish by treating that person to Starbucks… gyah… I just let out my smart-aleck side and patched things together and voila… a crappy fic like this. Enjoy *sarcastic smirk*

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            I could recall seeing her for the first time during my childhood in Nibelheim… though I could only look at her from afar since I was not allowed to play with her and the other children who usually hung around with her. 

Though I swear, I have adored her ever since… it's just that, my father had prevented me to do so because of duties such as understanding how the business world works…  I don't know how I had managed to survive even as I told my father that I wanted to invite her over some time. I was already around 19 at that time and I knew she's around Midgar, but still, old man wouldn't allow me to.

"The girl is from the slums. You can't be with her,"

Or sometimes, I'd be hearing, "You still haven't forgotten about her? You should!"

I miss my mother; she liked her… she liked her very much…

I never got the chance to talk to her, but when I did so, she's always with someone else…

What a team…

I almost got busted when I decided to approach her when I let them hear my appointment speech, so I stopped myself from getting near her further and just walk to the others to seem for them that I was just _plainly_ making a speech.

Looking at her up close has never been better…

And this song keeps on playing in my head every time I close my eyes and remember her…

_[If you're not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?_

_If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?_

_If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call?_

_If you are not mine, why do I have the strength to stand at all?_

_I'll never know what the future brings; but I know you're here with me now._

_You'll make it through and I hope you are the one I'll share my life with...]_

I saw her look into my eyes in Junon. I wondered if she noticed that I was staring at her already and not paying any attention to the real intention of telling her about their execution…

I could remember her when we were still children and I was watching her pass by holding a doll. I flashed her a smile, and she smiled back.

…though I doubt if she could remember that when she looked into my eyes again…

But for my stupid pride and this stupid company, I had to _force_ myself to forget her… 

Get over her.

_[I don't wanna run away but I can't take it; I don't understand!_

_If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?] 

Right…

I don't want to forget her, but I can't take it… I don't understand myself… But if I'm not made for her, then why does my heart tell me that she is?

Is there even a way for me to be with her even for one last time?

_[If I don't need you, then why am I crying on my bed?_

_If I don't need you, then why does your name resound in my head?_

_If you're not for me, then why does this distance maim my life?_

_If you're not for me, then why do I dream of you as my wife?_

_I don't know why you're so far away, but I know that this much is true;_

_We'll make it through; and I hope that you're the one I'll share my life with...]_

*** 

            "President Rufus! Get out of the office!"

Rufus ignored the voice from the intercom. He just continued to stare outside the window with a cold look on his face. He had lost the will to move and get out of the office…

He just wanted to stay there and stare outside, knowing the danger that awaits him by doing so…

_[And I wish that you could be the one I'll die with...]_

His frown deepened. 

He knew he was going to die…

_[And I pray that you're the one I'd build my home with..._

I hope I'll love you all my life...] 

But even so, he still thought of her…

_[I don't wanna run away but I can't take it; I don't understand!_

_If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

_Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?]_

"Just before I die, can't I just see her for one last time?" he thought as he clenched his fists.

_[Coz I miss you body and soul; so strong that it takes my breath away._

_And I breathe you into my heart; and I pray for the strength to stand today_

_Coz I love you whether it's wrong or right;_

_And though I can't be with you tonight,_

You know my heart is by your side.] 

But all he could do was picture her in his mind as the song continued to play in his head and he began to sing it softly, "Coz I love you whether it's wrong or right; and though I can't be with you tonight…" he stopped.__

_[I don't wanna run away but I can't take it; I don't understand!_

_If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

_Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?]_

In a flash, everything was gone but the memory of her…

Tifa Lockheart…

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-end-


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